Textbook Hilarities

One of the funny joys of my job is looking at the funny oddball things they put into the text book that I teach from.  Every week there is a different topic and about 8 vocabulary words the students have to learn, among other things.

This past week the topic was "Looking Good," so it was all about taking care of ourselves.

For example:

• Flossing your teeth

and

• Washing your hair

Now, look at the next page and tell me what doesn't fit in this category:

Let's look closer:

Apparently, checking the mail is good for your appearance.

Who knew?

Here's the whole spread (sorry it's blurry)...but the "thinker" at the bottom right of the left page looks just as confused about it as I am. 

Good thing six-year-old brains can't comprehend the mistake yet.  

But I just know one day soon little Frank will say "No mom, no shower today, I'll check the mail instead..."

ALSO:

I teach a one hour after school program to 11-year-olds.

These are few examples of real questions in their workbook:

• Do you think you are just gossip not to anything person?

• What do you like to feed if you want a pet?

• Does anyone who is very important to you in your life?

• If something have to do, why you should do better or worst?

• How do you think this sentence "The man."

• Do you are unnoticed others to care about yourself? Write in something before have done sweet things if you are not selfish.

• Did you have ever met some people who pride but you did not care about them?

• How do you express your feelings when you're in the mood? (what?!?)

Some of these you can kind of guess what they're trying to ask.

But others, your guess is as good as mine.

But it's funny!

Little LDS Chapel

Ten minutes from my apartment there is a little LDS chapel.  It's tiny, in the middle of nowhere, and very photogenic.

So...I couldn't resist.

Across the street there was a circle mirror for drivers to see around the corner...

Also known as "please take pictures of the church in its reflection"...

Starting to know my surroundings is turning into a blessing.  Knowing there's a church ten minutes away, regardless of what language they speak, is really nice.

Yep.

Romancing The Mother's Day Event

This weekend we had the Stanford School Mother's Day Event.

It was at a place called "18 Peaks": code for "Big Long Walk and Trail Through The Jungle."

All the teachers from all 5 of the schools branches were assigned one of six stations along the trail where we had to be and welcome kids and their parents.  At each station the kid was to play a game or answer a few questions and then they got a stamp on a piece of paper with a checklist of all the stations.  Once they were done with a station they got a gift to give to their mom's.  It was actually a lot of fun and a beautiful trail full of gardens and things to look at.  Mom, you would love it.

I didn't walk the entire trail.  As you can see above, it's really long.  And our event was not the entire trail; probably only a half mile of it.  Not bad.

My station was...

...so with other foreign teachers we did the above for hours.

I held a board with a fake mouth (joker, anyone?) that was laminated so I drew with a marker and made the teeth all dirty and the kids had to erase it.  Difficult stuff here.

Setting up all the flowers which the mom's could pick up at our station.

I was diggin this lady above with the umbrella hat and canes walking up the trail.

Me with Ashlee.

Me with stylish Oscar wearing designer shades (very rich child).  He's already too cool for school and already thinks it's lame.  Buddy, you're supposed to wait until high school for that opinion.

The trail towards our station.  It was a lot busier than this.

A video showing what we kinda did.  You can see the other foreign teachers and know that that is what I was also doing:

When we were all finished I walked back and was able to take a lot more pictures because we were done.

Awesome mossy walls.

I have no clue what the monument is above.  It looks like a foot in a snail shell?

In-between two dragon bushes.

Payphone. 

(For my dad).

I think this kid was bug catching with his net...?

The city just beyond the jungle.

In the end it was a lot of fun and very pretty.  It isn't too humid yet so the weather was great and cool.  Plus all the trees provided tons of shade.  It was fun seeing all the kids' parents and meeting them.  And it was also nice to see and talk to all the other American/Canadian/European teachers from the other branches of the school.

Also...

...giant man-eating ants.

Bike Woes

Well, April came and went as fast as possible.  

Did the month even happen?

Above: The sun going down on April.

And what a better way to start off a new month than with a no-stranger-to-me flat tire!

If ever I was meant to feel like a missionary again...this was the day.

They happened almost bi-weekly on the mission....and I haven't had a bike flat tire since!

Car, yes. Bike, no.

(Haven't really had a bike since either so I guess that would make sense)...

Good thing about Taiwan is there are millions of little bike shops everywhere.  

Only problem was...the bike store man (obviously) didn't speak english!

But in the end it didn't prove to be as exhausting as expected to try to get a new tire, but was still a semi-difficult task.  At first he brought out the pump after I showed him the flat tire...but I had a huge hole in the tire so then he went "oh oh oh oh"...showed me the price...and he was on his way.  I had no clue if he truly understood what I meant (but had a good feeling that he did since this is his job...).

I just kind of stood there pretending to be of help but it was obviously a no-win situation for the both of us since we couldn't understand each other.  I just let him do his thing...

When he was done, I paid him $600 NT ($18 USA) and was back on the road within 30 minutes of getting the flat tire.

That's a new record for me!

Let's hope it's the last one.

UPDATE: THE DAY AFTER POSTING THIS POST I GOT ANOTHER FLAT TIRE.  TRAGEDIES ALWAYS COME IN TWO'S FOR ME: usually in the form of speeding tickets...